


Maybe I'm a Crook

by Brolinismerthur



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Era, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-25 17:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brolinismerthur/pseuds/Brolinismerthur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'He loves me, he loves me not,' Merlin hates this back and forth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well, baby, I know

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song Love Love Love by Of Monsters and Men.

Everything about him was intoxicating.  
Arthur was drunk with Merlin’s scent. His alabaster skin. His moans. His sharp hip bones rutting against Arthur’s.  
They were locked safely in Arthur’s chambers, trying desperately to stifle their _Merlin_ s and _oh, Arthur, there. More_ s.  
The duvet was hanging haphazardly at the foot of the bed where it had been pushed out of the way. The pillows, only two beneath Merlin, supporting his weight as Arthur took him from behind.  
Every breath a whisper of his name. Every whimper a sign of pleasure and need.  
The blond kissed a light trail up the brunet’s spine to the nape of his neck. His breath hot, nudging his nose into the damp hairs. Merlin had a weak spot just behind his ear, all Arthur had to do was connect the tip of his tongue and, Merlin was shuttering in climax beneath him. Tightening around Arthur as he joined him at the peak.  
Arthur collapsed on top of the fragile body underneath him. _Hmph_ Merlin rolled so his lover could relax next to him.  
“Arthur,” it was whisper from the lips of angel. Arthur brought his lips to meet them in a sweet chaste kiss.  
Arthur leaned their foreheads together, making the pair go crossed eyed. “My love?”  
Merlin closed his eyes at the sound of fondness in the Prince’s voice, and let out a soft sigh.  
“Arthur,” Merlin said a bit louder, “what are doing?” He eyes always did give away his emotions.  
Arthur looked at the sad but hopeful face in front of him. He couldn’t help but reciprocate the look. “What do you mean?”  
Merlin waved a free hand between their chests, “this? Us?”  
“Merlin,” Arthur grabbed his hand, kissing the inside of his wrist.  
“Yes?”  
“We are-I am,” the Prince’s voice caught in his throat.  
“I know,” Merlin closed his eyes, a stray tear falling down his cheek.  
Arthur’s thumb was there in an instant to wipe it away. “Please, don’t.”  
“I don’t think I can, Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was so small, it was barely audible.  
Eyes widened, mouth dry, never had Arthur thought this day would come, at least not so soon. He knew sneaking around, having secret make out sessions before training, stolen glances during feasts, all of this was not what either of them wanted. But it was all Arthur could give. All he was _allowed_ to give.  
“Please, Merlin, _please_ don’t say that,” the Prince begged. He held the servant boy close to his heart, both figuratively and literally. “Please don’t-“  
“I love you, Arthur.”  
It was the first time either of them had ever said it.  
Those four words tugged at Arthur’s heart. Pulled it towards the man who lay, pressed against him. Binding them together.  
“Arthur?” Merlin’s bright blue eyes looked up through his fringe to meet the sparkling blue of Arthur’s.  
“I-“ Arthur wanted to say it. _Needed_ to say it. But, he just….couldn’t.  
Merlin closed his eyes and breathed in the Prince once more.  
Untangling himself from the blond’s grasp, Merlin got off the bed and grabbed his clothes. Before reaching the door, he turned to find a distressed looking Arthur sitting, naked in the bed. Then with a heavy heart, Merlin left the Prince’s chambers. Tears stung his face as the cold night wind howled around him.  
~*~  
The next day was not easy. When Merlin arrived at the Prince’s chambers with breakfast, he barely had any strength in his legs. A deep breath and shaking hands, he pushed the door open to reveal…an empty room.  
Merlin let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and went about his chores with as much enthusiasm as a cript keeper.  
The next few days were the same. Not once did Merlin see or hear from Arthur. It was beginning to feel as if everything they had meant nothing to him at all.  
~*~  
“I’m sure the feast will cheer you up, my boy,” Gaius patted Merlin shoulder. “Although, I am not quite sure _why_ you need cheering up.”  
“Its nothing, Gaius,” Merlin side stepped the inclination.  
“Right, well, best be off then,” the old man herded the younger out the door.  
~*~  
Merlin was not looking forward to this banquet _at all_. He was still the man servant of Prince Arthur, even if said Prince had not made any contact with him over the last four days.  
Speak of the bloody devil.  
The Royal family entered the room. Arthur looking disgustingly handsome, the prat. Even though the King was making a speech, all Merlin heard was his racing heartbeat in his ears.  
“Let the feast begin,” was all he caught as he avoided the familiar blue eyes that were calling his attention.  
~*~  
The second Arthur walked in the room he was aware of Merlin’s presence. Saw him from the corner of his eye.  
During his father’s speech, all Arthur could think was how he’d been a coward. How could he have hurt the only person who mattered to him?  
He stared across the room, passed all of the other people who meant nothing to him. Merlin was only one whose attention he desired. But the damned boy never looked up. _Typical,_ Arthur thought as he was about to give up and drink his sorrows away.  
Half way through the night, he saw a mop of hair bob up and down, making its way to the hall.  
“Father, if you don’t mind, I’d like to retire for the evening; early day tomorrow.”  
“Of course,” Uther dismissed him with a wave of his hand.  
~*~  
Just as he thought he’d lost him again, Arthur caught the glimpse of his shadow rounding a corner.  
He’d never run so fast in his life.  
Finally, he caught up to the boy. _Damn his long limbs._  
They were at the edge of the woods now. Merlin sat on a fallen log, poking the damp dirt with the toe of his boot. He was already shivering.  
“Merlin?”  
Merlin froze at the sound.  
“May I join you?” The voice close behind him now.  
No response.  
With a sigh, Arthur took off his Pendragon Red cape and gently placed it on the shivering shoulders in front of him.  
This startled Merlin, but he dared not move.  
“You’ll catch your death out here, you know,” Arthur’s tone was as if there was nothing wrong between them; back to the cocksure Prince he was.  
“S’not like it’d matter,” the words fell from his dry lips without him knowing.  
“But it would. More to me than anyone,” the plea was laced in his words.  
“Why are you here, Arthur?” Merlin could not hide the anger behind his words.  
“Merlin,” the Prince took a deep breath and tried to catch the brunet’s eyes.  
“Merlin,” he began again when he failed, “I hate myself for what I’ve done to you.”  
The servant’s nostrils flared at that.  
“Everything I did, I meant. And what I didn’t, I regret every second of the day.”  
The Prince’s head was now in his hands. “I do, Merlin.” His voice was small, “I do. Love you.”  
Merlin’s breath hitched at the sound of those words leaving the lips he’d kissed and dream of.  
“I know you do, Arthur.”  
He was on his knees in front of the man he loved. “Arthur, I know. I asked too much of you.”  
“No!” His head shot up from his hands. “You have _every_ right to ask that.”  
“Arthur, you’re the Crown Prince of Camelot, I know the risk you took,” his voice was trembling, “to love me.”  
“It shouldn’t have to be a risk.”  
“I wish it weren’t.”  
“My father-“  
“I know.”  
“We-“  
“I know.”  
“I’m sorry, Merlin.”  
“I know. I am too.”  
They stayed like that for a while longer. Arthur hunched over, arms around Merlin’s thin frame, head on his bony shoulder. Merlin kneeling before his Prince, arms around his broad shoulders, his head leaning on the other’s while fingers swept through the soft blond hair.  
“You should get some sleep, sire,” Merlin broke the silence.  
“Hmm,” Arthur agreed, having nearly fallen asleep against the familiar angles.  
~*~  
The next day, Arthur was in his chamber when Merlin entered.  
“Sire,” he said with a bow.  
Arthur furrowed his brow, “Who are you and what have you done with Merlin?”  
Merlin smiled. _Back to normal, I see._  
~*~  
Back to normal, his Royal pert little arse.  
Somehow, Merlin had been shoved up against the wall in dark corridor, with the Prince’s lips attacking his. Not that he didn’t _mind_ , he’d missed the stolen kisses in the dark, but could he handle this _again_? The back and forth of ‘he loves me, he loves me not?’  
“Arthur,” Merlin panted as they broke apart for air.  
“Mm,” Arthur hummed as he kissed up the line of his jaw to his ear.  
“ _Oh,_ -Arthur,” he was losing this battle for sure.  
 _Gods, how he’d missed this. Missed Arthur._  
The pressure of his finger tips on his hips. The moans that caught in his throat as Merlin sucked on his collarbone. The heat of his body on his.  
And of course, his already hard cock grinding against his. _More,_ he wanted more. _Needed_ more.  
“Arthur,” Merlin said with more force than intended.  
Lips red and swollen, hair sticking up on end, erection fully noticeable through his breeches, Arthur looked taken aback.  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “ _Fuck_ , Merlin, I’m sorry.”  
And with that, the Prince was gone; into the shadows and out of Merlin’s sight.


	2. I think its best

The next time the two encountered one another was after training the following day.  
Merlin was rounding the corner to Arthur’s chambers with fresh sheets in hand, when he saw the Prince, coming down the hall straight towards him. Just as Merlin was about to turn away and run and hide in hole, Arthur caught sight of him and stopped in his tracks. His eyes met Merlin’s wide spheres and did not waver as he continued toward him.  
Merlin had an inner panic attack as the Prince stopped only a few inches in front of him.  
“May we talk?” Arthur asked in hush tones.  
Without answering, Merlin followed him into his chambers. _What the hell was he doing?!_  
In his chambers, Arthur voiced Merlin’s thought as he pulled hard at his locks, “What the hell am I doing?”  
“Pacing,” Merlin’s mouth suddenly had a mind of its own.  
Arthur turned to face him and couldn't help but feel a smile tug at the corner of his lips at the sound of Merlin’s normal banter.  
“Thank you, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur reciprocated his tone.  
They stood there, staring at everything but each other for what felt like years. As chance would have it, there was a knock at the door and Sir Leon’s head popped through, “My Lord, the King has requested your presence.”  
Arthur nodded and headed for the door. As he walked by, Arthur let his hand brush Merlin’s.  
~*~  
His hands trembled at his side as the linens pooled around his feet; chore forgotten. He was frozen in time. Arthur wanted to talk, then did nothing but avoid his gaze – not that Merlin was looking at him anyway – then he brushed his hand with his. Was he _trying_ to kill him?  
Shaking away the many thoughts that clogged his brain, Merlin picked up the sheets and tried to go about his chores.  
As he fluffed Arthur’s pillows, his sent made it’s way to his nose and Merlin had to punch the fluff out it to calm down.  
~*~  
At dinner that night, Merlin was to assist Arthur. _Fan-fucking-tastic_.  
~*~

The normal dull conversations with his father and Morgana were, for some reason, unknown to Arthur this evening. When Morgana asked if he had any luck finding his favorite helmet, Arthur reply was simply a nod. His attention was set on his food, moving it around so that it looked like he had eaten.  
Every now and then, long thin fingers would wrap around his goblet to refill it. Every time they appeared next to him, he would stiffen and stop moving completely.  
Those fingers.  
Arthur’s mind remembered what they felt like in his hair, on his chest, wrapped around his –“Excuse me, Father. I think I’ll retire for the night,” he announced suddenly, giving a small nod to him and Morgana.  
~*~  
Arthur turned to face Merlin who was slumping along behind him. His eyes widened when Arthur grabbed his hand and pulled him to his chambers. Glancing around the hall to check if anyone could have seen them, Arthur closed and locked the door behind him.  
In the exact same scenario they were in not five hours ago - Arthur’s hands in his hair and Merlin looking like he was about to fall over - there was an uncomfortable silence.  
“I-“ Arthur began. But the words that had been running through his mind all evening- all day- got stuck in his throat.  
Squaring his shoulders, he took a confident step toward the brunet and looked into his eyes.  
Merlin had no idea what to do. His eyes gazed over Arthur’s face searching for an answer.  
“Merlin,” Arthur’s voice was but a whisper, “I cannot allow this to happen anymore.”  
Merlin’s heart jumped into his throat. He felt the pressure behind his eyes build and willed the tears to stay back.  
“What we are doing,” Arthur closed his eyes. “I’ve been a terrible person to you, Merlin. You gave me your love, your heart, and all I did was toss it aside. You loved me even though you knew I could not love you back.”  
Merlin felt tears roll down his cheeks as Arthur kept speaking.  
“I thought it would have been best if we both forgot about it, but,” Arthur was now toe to toe with Merlin, “I could not get you out of my mind. Everything about you - your eyes, your goofy smile, your touch, the way your arms wrap around me at night, the way you call me a ‘clotpole.’ Everything about you, Merlin; it was all I could think about.”  
Arthur reached out to hold Merlin’s hands in his. The familiar weight of them made Arthur’s heart skip a beat. “I never felt this way about anyone before.” The Prince looked longingly into the servant’s eyes, hoping he would understand how much he wanted him, how much he needed him.  
“Me neither,” Merlin whispered, blinking away his hot tears. A thumb came up to wipe them away and Merlin leaned into the touch. Arthur’s hands cupped his face, pressing soft kisses to each cheekbone.  
“Merlin,” Arthur leaned their foreheads together; “I’m going to tell my father.”  
Pulling back, Merlin looked at the Prince with panic, shock and terror written all over his face, “You what?”  
“I’m going to tell my father, about us,” the blond stated again with a fond smile.  
“Arthur, do you want to sign your own death warrant?”  
“Can’t get rid of me that easily,” Arthur wrapped his arms around him, pressing their bodies close together.  
Merlin melted into the warm embrace of his Prince, their bodies becoming one. Nothing could separate them, now. In that moment, everything was love, love, love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. I had to make it a happy ending because this song just hurts too much already!


End file.
